The Effects of Being Human
by megsdailyprophet
Summary: Cas is having trouble adjusting to his new human body, so he decides to ask Dean for help. Some fluff, possible smut in later chapters. Warning: spoilers for season 8 finale.


His eyes were gray

That was his first indication that something had gone wrong.

In all the years that he had known Cas, not one dilemma arrived without his eyes darkening from their usual sky blue. Maybe it was just Dean imagining things, or maybe it had something to do with his magic angel powers, but in one of the two circumstances, Cas needed help.

He stood at the door way of Dean's room in the bunker, balling his hands into fists and his sides while swaying back and forth on his feet, obviously reluctant to share his troubles. Dean tried meeting his eyes, but Cas continued to stare down at the aged wooden floor, now taking a step back from the threshold.

"Cas do you want to share with the class?" Dean sarcastically suggested.

Still staring at the ground, Cas shook his head slightly and took another small step back, this time stumbling on a dent in the floor. His hands came away from his sides for a moment to steady himself, then clung back to his oversized flannel shirt that Sam had lent him for the time being. This time, he brought his head up from his feet and gazed towards Dean, eventually meeting his eyes.

"Um...well I was just..." he stammered. Dean rolled his eyes and got up from his seat on the bed and made his way over to Cas.

"For the love of Christ Cas, spit it out. You didn't come 'round for a tea party, did you?"

Cas tilted his head, confused. "Why would I come to you for tea? I thought you only drank-"

"Never mind. Just, say it."

"Okay...well I was just wondering if..." he looked down at his hands, pretending to thoroughly examine his fingernails "if it was normal for everything to hurt when you walk. For humans, I mean."

Dean's eyes softened as he listened to the ex-angel's question, wishing to whoever was paying attention that Cas could just get his grace back and avoid the tremendous pain that went with adapting to human life. When he finished speaking, Cas nervously bit his cheek and looked at Dean for guidance.

"Well it doesn't usually hurt unless you break something. For you, all newly settled and cozy, I wouldn't think that anything would be bothering you."

Cas nodded in agreement. "That's the thing. I don't think I was injured or anything, as I have just finished examining my vessel and found nothing out of the ordinary, so I'm not indifferent to the idea that perhaps this is just how it feels to not possess my grace in human form. Maybe humans are so used to the constant ache of heavenly emptiness that they've evolved to not even notice it."

"Okay...you lost me."

Cas sighed deeply, obviously annoyed with having to explain further. "What I'm saying is, maybe the pain I'm experiencing is just a side effect of humanity."

Dean scratched his head, processing the theory. "So what you're saying is that losing your angel mojo is making everything hurt?"

Cas nodded.

"Then it's not something to seriously worry about right?"

"Yes Dean, I think that maybe if I try to forget about it, or if I don't focus my mind on the pain then it'll go away."

Dean remained silent, searching the ex-angel's face for any sign of doubt or trace of lying. He finally found it when Cas broke his gaze and winced slightly as he shifted his weight to the other foot. In response, Dean wrapped his arm around Cas shoulders, guiding him to his bed and helping him sit down. When he got him settled he took his own seat next to him, taking note of Cas' ridged posture. More than four years with the guy and he couldn't seem to be comfortable in these kinds of situations. There was still a wall of distrust between them, and he wondered constantly if it was ever to be torn down in the midst of all that was happening. Both of them hadn't spoken one on one like this for months, and it was beginning to worry Dean. Every time they hid something from one another, things ended badly. He didn't want history to repeat itself, for everyone's sake. So, Cas was going to talk. And if he didn't, Dean was going to MAKE him talk.

"Dean, really, it's fine. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of this myself," Cas said, clearly unconvinced of himself. He tried to get up from the bed, but Dean's precise reflexes pulled him back down, this time lingering on his arm for longer than it should have. Cas, noticing this particular movement, relented in his attempts at escape, dropping his shoulders in defeat and shifting his centered weight in Dean's direction so that their thighs touched.

"No, you're not. And if you pull that 'responsible angel' crap again things won't look too peachy around here. So come on, just tell me what I can do to help," he hardened his expression, "and I won't take no for an answer."

Cas sighed deeply, obviously realizing there was no good way to decline. "I suppose you could help to distract me," he replied, scratching his head uncomfortably.

"Distract you, how?"

"I don't know Dean, you asked in the first place," said Cas, clearly annoyed.

Rather than firing back, Dean thought better of the situation. "You know, sleep is one of the best healers in the human race."

Cas tilted his head. "What are you suggesting?"

"Have you ever napped, Cas?"

"Although I have heard of the term, I've never quite gone through with the concept physically."

"I'll bet you'll feel a hell of a lot better after you've slept some."

"Dean, it's not as simple as that. I want to forget all about the pain. I think I'll feel better if perhaps I go somewhere, or walk about as if I feel wholesome and bodily well again."

"Cas, I'm not gonna get you drunk if that's what you're asking."

Cas rolled his eyes at the accusation, ignoring the amused grin on Dean's face. "No, Dean, that's not suitable for this situation. Alcohol consumption would deter any healing process and add further to the pain in my head."

"Okay...so, you wanna go somewhere?"

"By somewhere, what do you imply?"

"Well Cas, by _somewhere_ I mean like place other than the bunker, or a bar, or anything related to a hunt. You know, just some place to have some fun."

Cas pondered this for a moment, eyes focused on the ceiling and fingers subtly fidgeting in his lap. "You know Dean, I've always wanted to go to an amusement park."

Dean knit his eyebrows. "I'm sorry, did you say _amusement park_? As in, whiny kids, rude staff workers and puke on the sidewalk amusement park?"

"Yes, although I could do without the regurgitation on concrete. I've always wanted to go to one. Maybe it would help me to settle into my human body more."

The hope in Cas' eyes made Dean want to take his face into his own hands and tell him that everything was alright, and that the angels were going to return to their rightful places in heaven. But of course, life was in the way of this wish and not even His golden majesty in the sky could blind humanity of that. So Dean ignored the feeling of impending disaster and fear and for once, listened to what the man before him preached.

"Alright Cas, we'll go tomorrow."

The relief in Cas' eyes made it worth the trouble. The newly established human slowly spread his lips into a smile and let his head rest on Dean's shoulder. "Thank you," he said breathily. In response, Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, fingers entwining within themselves near Cas' shoulder. "I'm just so tired all the time Dean," he exhaled, not hesitating to lean even more against the hunter's body.

"Okay, so sleep," Dean said simply.

"But sleeping is a process. You have to get ready, and get in the appropriate position you intend to be in during slumber, and be comfortable and-"

"How about I walk you through it. It's late anyways and I've been meaning to get a few hours in," he interjected softly, his voice barely rising above a whisper. Even though Cas resisted when Dean let his arms drop from their place on his shoulder, Dean continued on, motioning towards the dresser at the front of the room by the door. He walked over to it and opened up a drawer, pulling out a clean t-shirt and flannel pajama pants for Cas to borrow. He placed them on his bed, and proceeded to strip down to his boxers and undershirt. Cas' eyes widened as Dean tossed his jeans to the side of the room and he quickly averted his gaze to the clothes next to him. Dean, now only in underwear, looked questioningly at Cas, and then the clothes, silently urging him to change. Reluctantly, Cas got up and quickly put the pants and shirt on, the entire time looking over his shoulder at Dean, who was looking on at the scene, amused at the chaste manner in which the inexperienced man was acting. After the worn out clothes were discarded, Dean walked back over to the bed, pulling back the sheets and telling Cas to climb in under them. Confused, and a bit awkwardly, he obliged and settled himself on the far left side of the mattress. Dean followed after him turning off the lamp on the nightstand and sinking into the pillow on the right side of the bed.

"Dean."

"Yeah?"

"How do you fall asleep?"

Dean let out a snort and a loud laugh that echoed more than he intended. "Alright Cas, come here." He rolled over in the direction of the ex-angel, arms outstretched. Cas stiffened when he felt strong arms wrap around his torso, but eventually relaxed against Dean's body once he pulled him close.

"So now," Dean whispered, "you close your eyes."

Cas rolled over to face Dean, eyes closed, face pressing against his chest. Dean pulled him closer, ensuring a tight embrace that would surely help Cas fall asleep, as he imagined it would so many times before. "Alright. So now..." his words were cut off with a heavy snore, one that lasted abnormally long, at least fifteen seconds. Dean simply laughed and pressed his lips to Cas' forehead, who sighed contently in his sleep.

"Night, Cas," he said into the darkness.


End file.
